Writing car ads for cars you know next to nothing about is hard

"Battery Tender Unnecessary" (carac) 06/25/2014 at 00:30 • Filed to: None

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Grandfather wants me to sell his 1988 Dodge Dakota on Ebay/Craigslist/etc. But it has had the most uneventful life. Bought from the original owner in 2001 with 121k miles at that point. Regular oil changes, new steering rack...driven 3k miles a year to run errands and daily breakfast/coffee visits to McDonalds to hang out will all the other 75+ year old men that hang out there. Drove it 80 miles in 90 degree weather to my house, the A/C worked and I was comfortable.

2WD, 8 foot bed, 3.9 liter V6, 3-Speed Auto, 159.9k miles

After I sell the truck he wants me to sell his Cadillac...which has even less history. He bought it on a whim in September, works fine, he's just got too many cars.

Your boy, BJR > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 00:35

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THAT CADILLAC

WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?

HOW MUCH?

WILL YOU ACCEPT A HONDA PILOT FOR TRADE

FUCK ME I NEED THAT FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!

Zibodiz > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 00:36

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"owned by a retired man who drove it to Church on Sunday" is the ultimate car ad. Everyone like to find a car with an uninteresting past, owned by an old person. The "Yeah, this car looks boring in this picture, but I swear it looked awesome when we were jumping it in the dunes!" ads are kinda terrifying. My mom bought one of those once, and regretted it. No history is a good thing.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 00:37

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SOON! Literally.

PatBateman > Your boy, BJR 06/25/2014 at 00:37

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LMAO

I was just about to say "Sell B. Roll the Caddy, he's a buyer." Then I scroll down and see this.

PatBateman > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 00:39

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Sell the Cadillac to B. Roll. He'll seriously buy it.

Also, make your BMW dealership buy the truck. They'll do it for you.

Your boy, BJR > PatBateman 06/25/2014 at 00:41

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Badillacs [sic] are to me what crack was to Whitney Huston. My heart will never go on.

Dsscats > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 00:41

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I will give you $140, a GoPro and a PS3 for either of the cars.

SO MUCH WANT FOR BOTH.

Battery Tender Unnecessary > Your boy, BJR 06/25/2014 at 00:42

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I'll post here when I put it up for sale. It's a '77. Powder blue over white.

Anon > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 00:49

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You could also add in the fact that it's probably one of the only 1988 Dodge Dakotas in perfect condition!

GhostZ > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 00:52

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Dat Caddy. What's under the hood?

Henry Diesel > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 01:17

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Out of curiosity, if he is selling the dodge and cadillac what is he driving now?

Ferrero1911 > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 01:47

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You've already written a better ad (with better pictures) than 99% of the ads on craigslist. I'd just go with what you wrote here.

Battery Tender Unnecessary > Henry Diesel 06/25/2014 at 02:31

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He bought a 2011 Ford Ranger Sport

Battery Tender Unnecessary > Your boy, BJR 06/25/2014 at 02:34

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I'm also pretty sure it's the 425ci V8 also.

Battery Tender Unnecessary > GhostZ 06/25/2014 at 02:34

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I believe it has the 425ci (7.0) V8.

Henry Diesel > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 05:25

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nice!

thebigbossyboss > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 07:03

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Gimmie gimmie gimmie.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Battery Tender Unnecessary 06/25/2014 at 12:49

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Just exaggerate the babied/old-guy driven aspect.